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Good
morning or whatever time of day it is. My name is Dan Glamour and I'm
in the Cheap Seats. Yeah that's right, I have a new name for the column.
The boss and I were playing around with the web page and decided to change
things. The name of our web site is still the Outside Influence. So now
the Outside Influence will now be the home of "Dan Glamour From the Cheap
Seats" and "Perfect Perceptions". If you can think of a better name for
my column then by all means put your two cents in at
UWAGLAMOUR@yahoo.com and also send me an e-mail and tell me what you
think of the site. I really really want to get some e-mails from some
people because…well…I am very lonely.
Tonight's RAW comes on the heels of WWF Backlash. I went 5-4 in my predictions.
Now I'm not saying that I am not satisfied with my predictions but I'm
not satisfied with my predictions. At least I have a better knowledge
of wrestling than say when I first started watching around Wrestlemania
VII. I picked Jimmy Snuka to beat the Undertaker and the Mountie to go
down in defeat to Tito Santana. Never bet on Tito Santana at a Wrestlemania.
WHAT!?! An opening match? I guess this is what must have happened to Jeff
Hardy last night at Backlash. I can just imagine Bill Goldberg sitting
around at home saying "What the fuck!?!" I think Brock Lesnar just looks
like Goldberg and I think Brock is going to have a much more developed
character than Goldberg.
Aww shit!!! Like the production guys on RAW give a rat's ass about who
wins and loses the matches. They are all bitter because they have to make
their livings by going from town to town, setting up wrestling rings.
What happened to Undertaker's bike? Does he just use that for Pay-Per-Views
now? I don't know what it is but I don't like big guys walking to the
ring. Kevin Nash especially, the man's knees are just so messed up that
a couple of babies could crawl faster than Nash walks.
I am just as confused as the Undertaker. I thought that Triple H was supposed
to be on WWF Smackdown. And Arn, like you were going to stop Triple H
from walking out to the ring. Triple H started beating the shit out of
referees too.
Does everyone have to take their shirts off tonight? Matt Hardy lost his
shirt. Undertaker lost his shirt while he was getting the shit beat out
of Triple H. The Game ripped off his own shirt. At least Paul Heyman kept
his shirt on.
Triple H got arrested. I've noticed that in order to be a main eventer
in the WWF, you have to get arrested. I don't think I've ever seen the
Undertaker like that before tonight. Triple H didn't need to say anything.
He let his actions speak louder than words. Thank you for saving us from
another 15 minutes of the Undertaker whining and thanking everyone.
Great, the Scorpion King is being talked about on RAW. I'm sick and tired
of hearing about the Scorpion King. That was the greatest movie review
I have ever seen. Booker T and Goldust were great together. They are on
opposite side of the spectrum and for some reason they go great together.
"Not only am I the Scorpion King but I'm the five time WCW Champion."
Even though I didn't pick Eddie Guererro to win the Intercontinental Title,
I am glad that he won the belt. That means more television time for Uncle
Eddie.
Did anyone notice that Mr. Perfect grabbed Rob Van Dam's ass? LATINO HEAT!!!
Quit trying to speak Spanish JR. And I would have to believe that missing
a frog splash is like doing a belly flop in a swimming pool.
Nice WWF flashback. I think the WWF is trying to get fans to remember
who Hulk Hogan was. Hulk Hogan beat the Iron Shiek for his first WWF title
at Madison Square Garden. The smart wrestling fans and most of Canada
already remember Hulk Hogan. But to quote Hulk himself "some of these
johnny come latelies" aren't familiar with Hulk's WWF history.
Great, women's match. For some reason though I have the urge to buy the
Oxygen magazine. Could Billy and Chuck be the greatest tag team of all
time in the WWF?
Oh wait Trish is on the cover in a bathing suit. Whew!!! Any wrestling
fans out there that happen to be female and between the ages of 20 and
23. If so e-mail me at
UWAGLAMOUR@yahoo.com.
I know that you exist but I have never met a female wrestling fan.
Yes, the stooge Arn Anderson is getting some air time. Arn is such a horrible
actor. He is as bitter as the WWF ring crew guys. Damn you for making
Ric Flair go out and talking. Thanks for nothing Arn.
Yet another WWF Flashback. Hulk Hogan defeated Randy "Macho Man" Savage
for his second WWF title at Wrestlemania V. Nice to hear Gorilla Monsoon.
God rest your soul Gino. Hey speaking of Wrestlemania V, Arn Anderson
and Tully Blanchard took on Tito Santana and Rick Martel aka Strikeforce.
The crowd tonight in St. Louis was not responding to Ric Flair. Who cares
if Ric Flair screwed Austin or not? That was a low point of the show.
Kind of funny though when Ric Flair interrupted Austin to tell him that
he won 16 championships.
What the hell does the "Show Me State" mean anyway? If Cuba Gooding Junior
was a spokesperson for Missouri would he say "SHOW ME THE STATE!!!"
Are Bubba and Spike considered the Dudley Boys again? What would you call
the team of Booker T and Goldust? Harlem Queens? How about the "Dancing
Queens"?
Okay Jim Ross, you've already tried to speak Spanish and now you are trying
to speak like Booker T? Please Jim, stuck with what you know.
Man, how ironic was it that Bubba Ray Dudley was hitting Goldust (Dustin
Runnels) with Bionic elbows. I want to know when Goldust is going to try
to do the Spinarooni.
Steven Richards was really having a problem with that table and I am not
talking about the fact that he got put through it. Steven Richards was
really having a problem setting the table up.
Yet another WWF Flashback. Hulk Hogan defeats Sargent Slaughter for the
WWF Title at Wrestlemania VII. That was the first Wrestlemania that I
saw. Eleven years later I was able to attend Wrestlemania XVIII.
Shawn Stasiak is stupid. At least Tommy Dreamer got some air time. I hope
Regal kicks the shit out of Stasiak, sunshine!!! Wow that was a funny
match. William Regal took out the brass knuckles and punched Stasiak as
he ran to the ring. Funny stuff.
So Bradshaw's first name is John? Thanks for ruining the mystic Arn. You
are skating on thin ice.
I'm glad to see that Scott Hall and X-Pac are so concerned about "John"
Bradshaw. Ric Flair just said "for life". And he pronounces X-Pac like
he is from Boston instead of Charolette.
I'm surprised they showed when Hulk Hogan defeated the Undertaker at Tuesday
Night In Texas for his fourth WWF title. Undertaker defeated Hulk Hogan
the Sunday before at WWF Survivor Series with Ric Flair's help. That was
of course the rematch.
Then they quickly showed when Hulk Hogan pulled a victory out of his ass
and beat Yokozuna for the WWF title for the fifth time at Wrestlemania
IX. That has to be the worst Wrestlemania of all time. Nothing was good
that night. Some simply horrible things happened. Luna debuted with Shawn
Michaels. The Giant Gonzales used chloroform to take out the Undertaker.
Bob Backlund had to wrestle Razor Ramon. I could go on but that all happened
in 1993.
I wish Gene Okerland were still with the WWF. Hulk Hogan did his best
interviews with Gene. "Well you know something Mean Gene…" That was a
rather short interview for Hulk Hogan. I'm not complaining though.
RAW is almost over and the NWO are coming out. What am I watching WWF
Monday Night RAW or WCW Monday Night Nitro?
Thank
you!!! Just as I suspected…the Big Show has joined the NWO. Jim Ross and
Jerry Lawler must have not watched WCW when the Giant joined the NWO.
His heel turn was kind of weak though. Big Show choke slammed Austin and
then RAW was over. I could almost hear Tony Schiovene yell "We're Out
of Time!!!"
RAW was watchable again. The NWO finally got a new member, which they
dearly needed. The whole Ric Flair/Steve Austin conspiracy theory was
dumb though. The WWF Flashback was good. Booker T and Goldust are great
together. Who would have thought that. I will see you again next week.
Be sure to read the Perfect Perception later on this week.
Peace Out,
Dan Glamour
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