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From the Cheap Seats by Dan Glamour

Why are you devoting an entire column to Randy Orton? Well the answer is simple. Back when Randy Orton first injured his shoulder, the WWE began doing RNN promos where Randy would give updates on his condition every so often. Now as a part of the gimmick Randy gave on a web address where fans could send "get well" letter. The web address was GetWellRandy@wwe.com
Here is the letter that I wrote Randy.

Dear Randy,

Simply put, injuries suck. I am sorry to hear about your recent shoulder injury. Why couldn't you have injured your arm? I mean then you could have kept the cast on your arm for the rest of your career.
To tell you the truth, you seem rather plain to me...and most of the WWE fans. But Monday night was a great start to add something which every professional wrestler needs...depth. Hell even the Brooklyn Brawler and Skinner had it. What a great opportunity to piss off the Canada fans. They love Bret Hart like they are all his childhood friends. Too bad Bret could not care less about them. Anyway, great job ripping on Bret "The Hitman" Hart. One problem though. RAW isn't always live from Canada every week. In fact, it is highly edited by TSN so if you would have ripped on Bret Hart in say Chicago, IL, then Canadian fans would have had to have gone on the internet to hear about it. So what do you do to keep up this heel heat?
Here are some suggestions.

Beat the living shit out of Jim Ross. Now I am not adovacating beating him up for real. I mean for storyline proposes. Stonecold Steve Austin did it when he turned heel. Tazz did it to get some heel heat too. You've got to get JR off your back because all he does is praise you and promote you like you were his own son. Is there something we don't know about? In fact you could put him through a table. Yeah, a table. Nobody would see it coming. JR would be interviewing you and then all of sudden you snap and throw him through a table.

Bring back Tiger Ali Singh and form a tag team called the Terrorists. Defect from America and become a Muslim. A guaranteed title shot and hell you will win the title. Randy Orton defeats Brock Lesner!!! I could see it now. Kurt Angle could then defeat you at Wrestlemania. You could then bring back some has been from the 80s like Nikoli (after spending five minutes trying to spell his name, I just said screw it) Volkoff. Volkoff could join the you and Tiger. You could then star in the main event at Summerslam 2003. Muhammad Orton(oh yeah, you changed your name too),
Tiger Ali Singh, and Nik Volkoff versus Kurt Angle and Brock Lesner. You are on your own after that, I can only plan so far ahead.

Show up on Tough Enough 3. No, no, not as a contestant. Show up and talk with the new cast. They will all be expecting some up lifting speech or words of wisdom from you. Then all of a sudden you start trash talking them. Just rip them all a new asshole.
Be sure to mention how women should not be allowed in the wrestling ring. Talk about how your dad had to suffer through the business and didn't have this kind of free ride. Just act really bitter. Then volunteer to spar with them in the ring and then show them all up. Show no mercy to any of the contestants. Make them all look like they don't deserve to be their. Not only will it be a big rates boost for the show but it will also give you some major heal heat. Just think of the feuds you could have after that. Al Snow, Chris Nowinski, Nidia, Maven, Ivory, Chavo Guererro, Bob Holly, Jackie, Tazz, Linda, and the white Jacki. The feud possibilities are endless.

Well that's all from me. Good luck recovering from your injury. If you get bored, then check out this site
https://theoutsideinfluence.tripod.com/index.html#main

Peace Out,
Dan Glamour

There you have it. How can I have that much creativity? Anyway, now I expect to get some cheap ass response from Randy or somebody claiming to be Randy. Saddly, no response ever came. That is why I have been bitter at Randy Orton ever since. I will probably continue to be bitter at Randy forever. I mean it is not like he is going to reead this column and then send me an e-mail of apology.

Now Randy is out with yet another injury. I really enjoyed what he was doing with Horselution. Randy is really finding his nitch in the WWE as a heel. Being surrounded by Ric Flair and Triple H does not hurt either. Also having a buddy from Ohio Valley Wrestling like Batista must also be nice too.

The future of the WWE is Ohio Valley Wrestling (OVW). So if you get a chance to go to a show, I would suggest that you see it. People like Batista, Randy Orton, Brock Lesnar, Rodney Mack, and John Cena all came from there and these are the people that will be on WWE television in the future. They will be there when people like the Undertaker, Steve Austin, Triple H, and the Rock will be gone.

Well I hope you enjoyed this small column. I just felt the need to show you the letter that I keep and will continue to mention in this very column. I will be taking this Monday off. Not really by choice. I have to work from 3 to 11 p.m.. That blows. The Perfect One will be filling in for me. Be sure to watch RAW too. It will be live from my hometown Cleveland, Ohio and good things happen in Cleveland especially on Monday nights.

Peace Out,
Dan Glamour