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Perfect Perception by the PerfectOne

Live from Cleveland, Ohio, it is Monday Night Raw.

Nice opening segment with Bischoff, the Rock, among others. No Rock versus Booker T?

No opening song? We cut straight to Rob Van Dam. Are they not teasing the breakup of Kane and RVD anymore? Their opponents are Chris Jericho and Christian. This should be a good opener. I have high expectations. That can be bad sometimes. I expect a Michaels run-in. The tag ropes have definitely been reintroduced. Kane was pulling that thing practically halfway across the ring. I've never seen a tag rope so long. Jericho pins RVD. Quick, but good, match. I'll give it **1/2 out of 5 stars.

Sweet chin music for Jericho courtesy of Shawn Michaels. HBK accepts Jericho's challenge, and we should have a good matchup at WrestleMania.

Who gives a damn about Girls Gone Wild and the wet t-shirt contest tonight? What a waste of time.

Out comes Booker T. Should be interesting. Booker better be the next World Heavyweight Champion. He admits he's an entertainer. Talks about his jail time for robbing a Wendy's. Is this supposed to make him more over as a face? Oh no, he just called out Triple H. Out comes Ric Flair. About time we hear from the Nature Boy. It's been a while. It's great when Flair says "Shut up." Flair offers Booker a job as a chaffeur. I remember when Ted DiBiase offered Razor Ramon a job as a domestic. Razor didn't accept that job, and I don't think Booker will accept this one. Booker decks Flair. Amazing how one punch can take out a former 16 time World's Heavyweight Champion. Where's Evolution to make the save? No explanation for that one. Tsk tsk, WWE. Booker T then attacks Triple H in a bathroom. Is Kevin Sullivan booking this show?

So far, I'm liking this episode of Raw. I can only imagine what's next, though.

Oh damn, it's Jeff Hardy, I mean Glow Boy. Jeff Hardy, a.k.a. the Glow Worm. Why are the Raw announcers promoting Smackdown? DAMN LILIAN! Accompanied by 3 Minute Warning, Rico! About time Rico is in a match on Raw. Unfortunately, we cut away to see Stone Cold Steve Austin. Please don't run in on this match. I actually saw a decent match between Rico and Maven a couple weeks agon on Sunday Night Heat. Rico needs to be pushed more. DAMN! Glow Worm has defeated Rico. I shouldn't call him that, its demeaning to the Glow Worm. *1/2 for this one.

Triple H has been muted. Maven called Triple H numb nuts. Maven versus the Game tonight! Maybe he'll put Maven over! HA!

Goldust tries to talk to Austin. Austin gets annoyed. I remember when Austin locked Goldust in a porta-john on Raw a few years ago.

Rock talks about Jim Thome. Damn you Rock, damn you. That's just a low blow. Thank god the Hurricane interrupted the Rock's song about Cleveland. What a reception for the Hurricane. He's definitely getting over with these segments. I guess we're getting Hurricane v. Rock tonight in a No DQ match. Hurricane calls the Rock a bitch. First Maven, then the Hurricane call two of the biggest stars a degrading name. Good stuff there. Cheap shot by the Rock to end the segment.

Damn transmission problems. Out comes Trish. Unfortunately, Jazz will be following soon. Winner gets a shot at the Women's Championship at WrestleMania. Thankfully, Victoria ends the match quickly. She attacks both competitors with the Women's Championship. Must have been cut short thanks to the transmission problems. At least some good came out of that. ** because it was quick!

Eric Bischoff is next. He looks happy, as always. He doesn't mouth "I love you" to random members of the crowd anymore. Bischoff apologizes to Austin. Bischoff apologizes to JR as well. Bischoff does bring up a lot of similarities between he and Austin. Crowd pops loudly for Austin. Stone Cold flips off Bischoff. Austin says Bischoff is boring. Rock interrupts a Bischoff ass-kicking. Nice interaction here. Quick attack on Bischoff before the Rock interrupts Austin again.

Triple H versus Maven is next. Can Maven pull a good non-title match out of the Game? Hunter is wearing red tonight. We have an update about Orton and Batista during this mauling. Surprise, Triple H wins. I'll give it *1/2. Maven gets his head caught inbetween the ropes. Triple H attacks Al Snow, who came to the aid of Maven.

Next week we have Eric Bischoff versus Stone Cold Steve Austin in a rematch from No Way Out, but with Bischoff's rules.

Austin is talking to Steiner?

The Dudleys have been reinstated? Okay. They're facing Chief Morley and Lance Storm? D-Von versus Lance and the Chief in a handicapped match. Makes sense, since Bubba is hurt and Regal is still recovering from illness. Morley and Storm win in a decent match. ** for this one.

Wet t-shirt contest is next. Why is the WWE working with Girls Gone Wild? What a waste of time here.

The Rock's new music kicks ass. Not as much of an ovation for the Hurricane as I expected. Damn women cheering for the Rock. Damn my tape for running out during the middle of this match. From what I read, this was a good match with the Hurricane getting the win after Austin distracts the Rock.

I'm upset that I missed the end of the show. It seems like it was a good one. I'm going to try to review Smackdown this week, as I should have the opportunity. Look for Dan Glamour next week.

Until next time, I am

the PerfectOne