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me? It is Dan Glamour again and that can only mean one thing. It is time
for another edition of "From the Cheap Seats". Sorry about last week's
column. The television that I was going to watch it on could not access
the cable. Now I could have watched RAW in a lounge somewhere but it was
the beginning of my senior week so I decided to party instead of watch
wrestling that night.
Now if you also noticed, I did not put out my Judgment Day predictions
either. I graduated college on Saturday and Friday was also my Baccalaureate
Mass. I attended a Catholic university so that is why we have a mass as
well. Anyway, I did get to see Judgment Day last night. Now I am not going
to say that Judgment Day was horrible but Judgment Day was horrible. The
finish to the main event was lame. The Undertaker is now the WWE Champion.
Vince McMahon distracted the referee to help out the Undertaker. A Vince
McMahon-Hulk Hogan feud sounds exciting except for one thing. Hulk Hogan
is now on the RAW brand. Vince McMahon is in charge of WWE Smackdown in
the storylines. If Vince is not allowed on RAW and Hogan is not allowed
on Smackdown, then how can they have a feud? We will see what happens
tonight on RAW.
I read that WWE RAW began with a British Bulldog Davey Boy Smith tribute
that was read be Vince McMahon. I'm sure that it was very nice but I missed
it because my parents were watching the Cleveland Indians blow yet another
baseball game against the Detroit Tigers. My dad wouldn't have cared anyway
because he was not a big Davey Boy Smith fan. My condolescenes to the
Smith family and the Hart family as well. I guess the Harts were still
close with Davey Boy.
Okay, I've got to ask a question. Davey Boy Smith marries Diana Hart and
they raise a family together. Then Davey Boy and Diana get a divorce and
from what I heard, it was not pretty. Shawn Michaels must have been chasing
after Diana again. If you don't know what I am talking about then don't
ask. So who was Davey Boy Smith when he died? His girlfriend, now that
may not sound unusual but here is the kicker. His girlfriend is the former
wife of Bruce Hart. That does not sound like a happy family to me. Thanks
of Pain for the info on that. Oh yeah, back to RAW.
Now I watched the first hour of WWE RAW with my parents. I love my parents
very much but watching wrestling with them is like watching wrestling
with a girlfriend. You the kind of girl that I am talking about. She's
not a fan of WWE at all. She really doesn't like professional wrestling
at all. She is there with you because she wants to spend time with you
or wants to start watching it because you are watching it. Well her plan
backfires horribly. Throughout the whole show or program, she asks questions.
"Who is that?" Is he a bad guy?" "Why is he doing that?" And so on and
so forth. Now granted my parents weren't that bad.
When I turned on TNN, I see a bloodied Rob Van Dam in the ring and the
Undertaker doing his Stephanie McMahon impersonation in the ring. Rob
Van Dam then goes after the Undertaker some more and that sets up a match
for the WWE Undisputed Championship for later on in the evening. I never
expected that to happen. I thought for sure that a Hulk Hogan vs. the
Undertaker rematch was going to take place.
So then the Hardy Boys take on the Big Show and X-Pac of the NWO. What
a poorly booked match. The Hardys win this one when Goldust comes down
to the ring dressed as Elvis. Now I thought it was funny but it took me
a minute to figure out why he dressed as Elvis. Then a light bulb went
on in my head. WWE RAW was in Memphis, Tennessee.
Oh great Paul Heyman starts flirting with Trish Stratus. There is nothing
I like more than seeing some ugly, fat, and old man flirt with a woman
that looks like Trish the Dish. Note the sarcasm in my comment.
As I explained to my parents and have said in this very column, the Women's
division is horrible. Watching women's wrestling is not exciting at all.
I am just thankful that Mae Young is still not on WWE television period.
I wish I could have a big strong muscular guy come after all the women
that have turned me down for a date. He would sadly be spending a lot
of time in Wheeling, WV. Brock Lesnar is coming after Trish. Now Trish,
instead of exiting the ring, has trouble fitting through the ropes. Bubba
Ray Dudley to the rescue. Paul Heyman held Brock back but I will bet a
million dollars that Brock attacks Bubba later on or next week.
My dad and I were laughing our asses off when the day in the life of Tommy
Dreamer segment aired. I am wondering where the hell the WWE is going
with this but it sure was funny. Tommy eating his own hair was on a pleasant
site to see though. Did Tommy actually take a look at this new gimmick
for himself and "Hey, this whole me eating anything in sight gimmick sounds
good to me." Please Tommy Dreamer doesn't need this crap to get him over.
Just start putting him on RAW against decent opponents.
William Regal sucks as the European Champion. D'Lo Brown should have won
it on Sunday Night Heat last night but William Regal cheated to keep his
title. Regal's match against Bubba was pointless too. Bubba went out of
the ring to get a table and Brock Lesnar hits him from behind. Then after
Brock leaves Regal hits Bubba in the back of the head with the Brass Knuckles…err….Power
of the Punch at Molly's request. Can you believe though two are together?
Sounds as odd as Bubba Ray Dudley and Trish Stratus come to think of it.
Ric Flair and the Stooge (Arn Anderson) come down to the ring to address
the Steve Austin situation. Ric claims that he changed the record books
because when Austin pinned Ric Flair during the Handicapped Match last
night at Judgment Day, Flair was not the legal man. I've always wondered
that. Does the legal man have to be pinned in order to win the match?
I've seen cases where that is not the case. Although other than last night
I couldn't tell you an instant where that happened. Whew, that means that
I have a life besides wrestling.
Back to Austin and Flair. Flair does something very creative, Austin is
benched. Austin is under the power of Ric Flair so Austin will not be
wrestling any time soon. It's okay, it is just part of the storyline.
Arn Anderson decided to say something to Austin and it really doesn't
matter what he said. After the Stooge opened his mouth, Austin beat up
Flair and Anderson. He gave then a Stunner. WHAT!?! Then a beer. WHAT!?!
Then a bird.
The Clusterfuck World Order, I mean the New World Order are arguing backstage
over who should be the leader of the NWO. They were like a bunch of school
children. Goldust wants to join the NWO too. So Booker T bores everyone
by setting up another Hardy Boys match against him and Goldust.
The Hardy Boys beat Goldust and Booker T quickly with the help of X-Pac
and the Big Show. Then the NWO is in the ring and begins to argue with
one another. Then "Slow Sexy" Kevin Nash comes down to the ring and restores
order literally. I hope this is a good thing for the New World Order.
Looks like Nash is in charge which is the way it should be and Booker
T is still with them. Goldust I think will continue to try to become a
Looks like the WWE is really trying to kiss up to the people of Memphis.
It happened earlier with Goldust dressed as Elvis. Steve Austin and Debra
just happen to walk into the Mugs Pub in Memphis for beers and singing.
Makes sense though because Steve has the night off. Eddie Guerrero just
happens to be at the bar and harasses Austin and Debra. Eddie tries to
sing country music, latino style and fails miserably. What can he say
though, it is country music. Country music sucks.
Steve Austin tries to sing and he didn't do that bad of a job either.
Eddie ignores Austin and to make a long story short, Eddie hits Austin
in the back of the head with a beer bottle and then leaves. I hope Eddie
has a designated driver.
Raven for some reason came down to do commentary during RAW. He kept making
fun of Lawler and J.R. Then Raven gets upset with the King and grabs a
microphone and gets in the ring. He challenges the King to match later
on. Oh wait, RAW is in Memphis so Jerry Lawler has to wrestle that night.
Another way for the WWE to kick some Memphis ass. I didn't mind though,
it was nice to see Lawler in the ring again. I was just watching the Andy
Kaufman wrestling special the other night on Comedy Central. Lawler won
by a count out though. Who the hell wins by a count out anymore? I guess
they were running short on time for RAW.
Typical Rob Van Dam vs. the Undertaker match. Rob Van Dam pulled a Chris
Jericho on us by seemingly winning the title from the Undertaker. Undertaker's
foot was on the ropes though. Ric Flair of all people came down and ordered
the match to continue. After RVD nailed Flair, the Undertaker hit RVD
with the Last Ride to retain the title.
No Jerry Lawler or Lilan Garcia, RVD never won the WWE Championship. Jerry
Lawler said that the Undertaker won the title twice in twenty four hours
and Lilan announced the Undertakers as the new WWE Champion. Clearly this
was not the case.
RAW was watchable this evening, although it sucked watching RAW by myself.
So I guess Brock Lesnar and Bubba Ray Dudley are going to be feuding.
Ric Flair and Rob Van Dam will be feuding and Steve Austin is going to
be feuding with Eddie Guerrero. Perhaps the WWE can turn things around
after a horrible Judgment Day pay per view on Sunday.
"Of course that is only my opinion, I could be wrong."