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am Dan Glamour and yes the column is now called "From the Cheap Seats".
Speaking of which, the WWF is finally returning to Wheeling, WV this Wednesday
and I will be in attendance. Guess what kind of seats I am getting? That's
right, the cheap seats. The Wheeling Civic Center isn't that big so it
is ideal to watch wrestling at. I am really looking forward to that.
The WWF Smackdown roster will be there. For some reason I am really looking
forward to the Bikini Showdown between Stacey, Torrie, and Ivory. I guess
I am just a horny college smuck. Looks like a good card all around. I will
have a special bonus column on Thursday that will deal with my experience
at the Wheeling Civic Center.
I'm getting ahead of myself though because this is a column about RAW. And
before the opening match David and I have confused looks on our faces as
Hulk Hogan vs. William Regal is announced for later on in the program.
So let me get this straight. Jeff Hardy gets his ass handed to him by Brock
Lesnar at WWF Backlash and he gets an Intercontinental title shot?
Nice hot opener! I am a big Eddie Guerrero fan. When the Hardy Boys are
pushed right they can be exciting too. What the hell is a Five Star Frog
Splash, J.R.? And nobody wears two cups except for Jazz.
Has anyone else noticed how the WWF is really enhancing flashbacks from
their previous shows? Every time the Big Slow choke slammed Steve Austin
it sounded like a cannon.
Great another AT&T commercial with Carrot Top. Carrot Top is scary and
the thought of him skinny dipping is even worse. I am going to start calling
collect by dialing "0". I bet there are some hot operators on the other
WHAT? I am sick of Steve Austin interviews. WHAT? Steve Austin is only funny
when he addresses another wrestlers. WHAT? Austin just yelling and the audience
responding "WHAT!?!" is annoying me.
The Big Show is in India. When has the WWF ever been to India? And we are
also treated to another Bradshaw and Austin vs. Scott Hall and X-Pac. Hey
and Ric Flair is the special guest referee. I see Flair turning heel at
least by Judgement Day.
More funny stuff from Goldust and Booker T. Booker T looked ridiculous in
Goldust's wig. What is an illegitimate lesbian?
Another Booker T and Rob Van Dam match though. Two good competitors but
this match seemed kind of stale. Goldust cost Booker T the match though.
I think we will see Booker T get some revenge later on in the show.
I take exception to Bradshaw's comments about "celibate priests". I am a
Roman Catholic and there are some bad apples. Their actions are in excusable
and there should be a zero tolerance policy in regards to child molesters.
There are also some great priests out there too.
Brock Lesnar vs. Shawn Stasiak. HA HA HA!!!
Why the hell is Paul Heyman wearing a Los Angeles Raiders cap in Buffalo,
I see that the WWF wants to actually use Debra on television. I didn't expect
to see Debra slap Ric Flair in the face. Debra needs to be on television
more. She is looking nice.
The Undertaker talks with Sargent Slaughter. It seems like nobody in the
WWF can deliver their own messages. The Undertaker wants the Sargent Slaughter
to deliver a message to Hulk Hogan. Steve Austin wants Debra to deliver
a message to Ric Flair. Ric Flair wants Debra to deliver a message to Stonecold.
Come on everybody, you should all know that it is the "Stooge" Arn Anderson's
Jerry Lawler is finally starting to make some sense. I think he brought
up a good point about last week's events on RAW. The Big Show attacked Bradshaw
first and then Ric Flair assigned him as Steve Austin's tag team partner.
Speaking of Lou Thesz presses. I am very saddened by the death of wrestling
legends Chief Wahoo McDaniel and Lou Thesz. Celebrities die in threes though.
So to quote Bill Goldberg "who's next?"
The ending to the NWO vs.Bradshaw and Austin was stupid. Is Ric Flair supposed
to be a heel or a face? Ric Flair is the worst referee ever. Anyway it looks
like it will be a member of the NWO vs. Ric Flair.
Yes, the Undertaker has his motorcycle this week. But damn it, why does
he have to talk? I've said it before and I will say it again. Listening
to the Undertaker is like listening to Stephanie McMahon. Steph has better
breasts though. SHUT UP UNDERTAKER!!!
I am really looking forward to Hulk Hogan vs. Chris Jericho on WWF Smackdown..
DAMN IT!!! I live in Wheeling, West Virginia.
I might want to see Lita on Dark Angel. James Cameron on RAW? You would
think that James Cameron would be doing more projects. I mean the last movie
he directed was Titanic. Did you see that movie? Pure chick flick. I've
seen it maybe once or twice. I need a chick to watch it again. Get off your
ass and do something James!!!
Bubba Ray Dudley vs. Jazz was one of the most ridiculous matches I have
seen in a while. Jazz slow danced with Bubba. Bubba bit Jazz in the ass.
Jazz had a trash can put on her head. And then Jazz and "Double J" Steven
Richards left the ring together. Steven Richards is the new Hardcore champion.
It's the Hardcore belt though. How long will that reign possibly last?
Wow, I didn't realize that William Regal was such a Hulk Hogan fan. Look
at his collection. He had a Hulk Hogan poster, a bandana, a cheap hat, and
even a mug.
I know why William Regal isn't respected. He hasn't started in a movie with
Christopher Lloyd and Sherman Hemsley.
"Whatcha you gonna see when the power of the punch runs wild on thee?"
Ric Flair, Bradshaw, and Steve Austin vs. Scott Hall, X-Pac, and the Big
Show next week on RAW. Can you say screwjob? I know you can.
Tough Enough 2 in South Africa and somebody gets cut. That would be a blow
to my ego if I had to make a call from South Africa and tell my friends
that I just got cut from Tough Enough 2. Of course, if I had the opportunity
to make out with Jackie (from Tough Enough 2), it might be all worth it.
Hey it's the Rock and the Rock on all of the television shows. Like I haven't
seen that before.
Goldust vs. Spike Dudley for the European title. Booker T will probably
screw Goldust and Spike retains. Time for a bathroom break.
Another Steve Austin video? How many is that twelve? I enjoyed "Cause Stonecold
Said So" and "Austin 3:16 Uncensored". I will probably try to check this
one out. There was so old WCW footage too. Steve Austin had hair?
I was surprised that Hogan vs. Regal was signed for tonight but I really
like the originality. Regal offered Hogan a spot of tea. And then I guess
Hulk Hogan was having some "Mr. Nanny" flashbacks because he destroys the
tea party and spits the tea back into Regal's face.
I thought tonight's RAW was watchable tonight. I think RAW is doing a good
job developing storylines. The whole Austin/Flair/NWO is coming along a
lot better than I thought it would. It looks like Jazz and Steven Richards
have formed an allance. Bubba Ray Dudley will get his revenge at Judgement
Day I think. Very little women's wrestling tonight. And no the hardcore
match doesn't count. "Odd Couple" Goldust and Booker T might start a feud
soon. The Undertaker interrupted the main event and beat the shit out of
Hogan. I haven't seen Hogan bleed like this since Wrestlemania VII. Ironically
he was fighting against Sargent Slaughter that night. That's all from me.
See you again on Wednesday. FINALLY THE WWF HAS RETURNED TO WHEELING!!!