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The Outside Influence-April 2, 2002

The Outside Influence is back on the air!!!

Now I know you were all creaming your jeans waiting for my review of Smackdown on Friday. Well Smackdown in Cleveland was preempted by Cleveland Cadavers...err...Caviliers basketball. The Cavs lost a heartbreaker to the Utah Jazz. Who am I kidding? The Cavs suck. They make me a shamed to be from Cleveland. WUAB (the local UPN affiliate) should know that Smackdown gets better ratings than the Cavs. Don't carry any of the Cavs Thursday games and see your ratings get better. I mean I know the rest of the UPN programming is certainly helping. Now note the sarcasm in my typing, I'm laying it on pretty thick.

It’s a brand new RAW tonight and Ric Flair start things off by saying that he will be presenting Triple H with a new Undisputed Championship belt.  What an ugly piece of a shit!   The Hardcore belt looks better than this new belt and that belt is an old World Title belt too.

Booker T is the valedictorian of violence?   What high school or college did he go to?  Is he from Harlem, New York or Houston, Texas?  And another thing, what the hell is Earl Hebner doing as the referee of the first match?

Yes, finally Eddie Guererro has come back to the WWF!!!   But then Vince McMahon has to ruin it by showing his face.  Then for some reason, Vince McMahon gets cut off.   Why did I hear Tony Schivonie yelling…”We out of time…”?  Vince McMahon needs to stay on Smackdown.   I’m getting sick of anyone named McMahon taking up WWF television time.   Especially Linda.

Now back to Eddie.   I am sorry to say that I read the spoilers and knew that he would be back.  It was still nice to see Eddie back.  I thought that he executed a very nice frog splash.  SHUT UP VINCE!!!

The new RAW set is cool but I really miss the old theme song.  I liked it.  The new RAW theme song is okay.  How about we just go back to the old RAW format and have it in the Manhattan Center.  

I’m confused, I didn’t hear anyone give Ric Flair a “Hell Yeah” when he asked if they wanted Steve Austin to be on RAW.

I saw the trailer for the Scorpion King AGAIN.  I was just lamenting the fact that it is a prequel.  Which means that we already know that the Rock is going to win.  We know that Rock becomes king and defeats the bad guy.  :(  I  still want to see it though.  The box office draw is going to suck in Canada though.

It is about time that the WWF used the Big Show.  I knew that as soon as Vince said “no one is big enough to remove him from the ring” that the Big Show would come out.  Nice segment.

William Regal had the brass knuckles in his armpit?   He must have been talking with the Nasty Boys.  There were a couple of things wrong with this match.  Why are there non-title matches on RAW?   Regal is wrestling is Spike Dudley for god’s sake.  Put the title on the line.   Another thing, Nick Patrick was actually playing fair?

What the hell?   They set up the APA office exactly like it was on Smackdown.   I bet they won’t even try to explain that one.

I never bet on babies but I once ate one.

Crash is on RAW? 

Looks like Bradshaw is getting a push.  Bradshaw versus the NWO huh.  Well I can see Kane and Bradshaw in a tag team match against the NWO in the near future.

It’s nice to see the Hardcore title where it belongs.  How ironic that the people who made “hardcore” mainstream, Raven and Bubba Ray Dudley were wrestling for that belt.  What is up with Raven’s hair?  I guess Raven is trying to have a little more fun.  Get it?  Anyway, Bubba is really hardcore with his oranges.  Oranges in a hardcore match?  Now I have seen everything.

Somebody kick Vince’s ass and keep him off of RAW.  I don’t care if you have to send Jackie and Crash out to do it. Just get it done.

I saw a commercial for Star Trek:  The Next Generation and I was reminded of the most recent episode of South Park. Now like UPN, Wheeling does not get Comedy Central.    In Cleveland, I was watching South Park in which Stan and company were trying to rescue baby calves a.k.a. veal. It was funny as hell.   Worf made a guest appearance and had to address Cartman as “Captain”.  Funny stuff. 

Why didn’t the Undertaker ride his bike to ringside?    He was walking as slow as Kevin Nash was to ringside.  Kevin’s knees are in horrible shape from wear and tear over the years.  Maybe that would help Nash out, if he had a bike.  Not a motorcycle, but a bicycle with pedals.

Oh man, five dollars says that Lou said “What!?!”  when the Undertaker said “say What!?! if you sleep with your own sister.”   The only problem is that Lou doesn’t have a sister.   He does have a mother though.  Just ask Tazz.

The WWF title belt weighs 15 pounds?  And hey Undertaker, why don’t you put your wife’s name where your Adam’s apple is?

Now at around 10:10 p.m. I went to Krogers.   I missed a whole bunch of RAW action so I obviously can’t comment on it. 

Kane vs. X-Pac, I’ve never seen that before. The NWO did add a new dimension to this match though.   Kevin Nash’s boot to the face is vicious.  Bradshaw made the save…surprise, surprise.  What if Kane and Bradshaw played a game of strip poker?   Would Kane eventually lose his mask?

You’re right Stonecold, I don’t give a damn about Vince’s intellectual sperm either.  And that was the best damn April Fools joke, I’ve ever seen.   Steve Austin stunning Flair was a little bit weird though.  I’m wondering if anything will become of that?

I surprisingly like what RAW had to offer tonight.   Eddie Guererro returned to start a feud with Rob Van Dam.   The Big Show, Bradshaw, and Kane are all getting pushes.    There is a new championship belt although it is ugly.   Stonecold Steve Austin has come back to wrestling and to RAW.   Tonight’s RAW was definitely watchable. 

You know I have noticed that I have become less funny in the past couple of weeks.   I hope that is slump changes very soon. 

Peace Out,

Dan Glamour

© 2002 The Outside Influence
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