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The Outside Influence-April 15, 2002

I will tell you what, flu like symptoms and/or food poisoning suck. I was in agony yesterday because I felt so sick. Let's just say that on Sunday, I spent a lot of time in the bathroom. Anyway, I won't make mention of this again so keep reading. So here's the Outside Influence.  

If you've noticed there's a new column on the Outside Influence homepage. Didn't know about it? Well neither did I, until my boss told me that he posted a column of his own. Its actually pretty funny and I hope he decides to do a weekly column. WHAT? I've got something brown on my nose?  

How about you people that read my column send me some feedback? Two people have sent me feedback about the Outside Influence. Itís not that hard. Put down some thoughts and send it to me at UWAGLAMOUR@yahoo.com 

Great, an opening interview with Flair McMahonÖI mean Ric Flair. And Ric apologized to the audience. Yet, Ric kept on talking for 8 minutes. Then Steve Austin comes down to the ring and they talk for another 6 minutes.

Oh look, here comes the Undertaker and heís not riding his damn motorcycle. So then there is another 3 minutes of boring banter. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, here comes the NWO. So now Scott Hall decided to talk for 5 minutes. Then after a huge brawl, Bradshaw and Austin have a couple of beers. The only thing that was worth while during that 22 minute opening segment was the fact that Ric Flair will be special guest referee.  

Man, I wish I had $5000.  :(  

During that Greyhound commercial, was the greyhound dog at a Korean restaurant or a Japanese restaurant. How ironic because donít they cook dogs at Korean restaurants? Now I could be wrong so please donít get offended if you are Korean and they donít make dog at Korean restaurants. 

Raven is on Sunday Night Heat as a commentator!!! The WWF might as well change his gimmick over to Johnny Polo. Why is it that only former ECW stars can do commentary on Heat? 

So after Raven beats Bubba Ray Dudley, then Tommy Dreamer beats Raven, then Steven Richards beats Tommy Dreamer, and then Bubba Ray Jarrett hits Richards with a guitar to win back the Hardcore Title.  

What the hell is Burger King trying to pull? There is no way in hell that I am going to cluck like a chicken and get $.50 off a Chicken Whopper. Iím not fooling anybody am I? Of course I would. 

HmmÖafter seeing that Shawn Stasiak interview. Its time to go check the laundry. 

A poem for Shawn Stasiak 

They should change your name back to Meat

Because you should be wrestling on Heat.

With the Big Show, you had no luck.

Itís probably because you suck. 

Thank you. I think I have found my new calling in life. 

Hey Lita, you can play with my stick shift anytime. What a great Stacker 2 racing commercial! I guess itís not that great of a commercial because itís a Stacker 2 commercial. Itís a lot better than seeing the Big Show or some fat guy sticking out of a car. 

Finally they are giving Eddie Guerrero some mic time. Great interview. Terri canít interview anyone worth shit but sheís still hot for a forty year old woman. 

Iím sorry was that Goldust talking to Booker T or the Ultimate Warrior? Goldust made no sense. It was a lot better when he actually was quoting movies. Iím getting too old for this shit too Booker T.  

Speaking of guys who should be wrestling on Heat, it is going to be Crash vs. Jackie. What a great match this will be (sarcasm). Oops I blinked, the match is over.

Actually the most humiliating night of Regalís life was when he had to kiss Vince McMahonís ass. And as I was typing that the Coach told Regal the same thing. The Coach is not a bum. Okay Tazz. 

Is it always Hit Week on TNN? I swear they are always showing a Godfather movie or a Star Trek movie. 

Spike Dudley weighs 150 pounds!?! I weigh more than that guy. And speaking of smaller guys, I am so glad that Eddie Guerrero is back. I love his entrance music.  

That Spike can sure take a beating. Nice ending to that match by the way. Iíve never seen anyone execute a drop kick like Rob Van Dam. 

Great, another match between Trish and Molly. Thereís nothing wrong with being a virgin by the way. I am awaiting with great anticipation who will face Jazz in the mother to end all Womenís title matches at Backlash.

Please, please note the sarcasm.  

www.lifeheart.com because I havenít had anything interesting to type about. 

I think I am going to be sick again. I canít believe Paul Heyman is hitting on Lita. And put down her panties for Christís sake. Matt Hardy is going to get his ass kicked at Backlash. 

Who books this crap!?! Booker T/Goldust vs. the Hardy Boys. ďOh my godĒ, Matt Hardy got his ass kicked by Brock Lesnar. 

Is Jim Rossí Bells Palsy getting worse? I donít think so either but Todd thinks it is. I saw him laughing at Tiny Tim during a Christmas Carol too. 

Yawn! What a great interview with Triple H. Notice that I am using a lot of sarcasm tonight. That is not a good sign. 

Good main event match. Austin and Bradshaw took on the NWO and the Undertaker. I was impressed with the action. X-Pac actually wrestled pretty good too. I was disappointed that Kane didnít make an appearance. 

If tonightís RAW keeps up like this then I will definitely be watching RAW by myself at my house and not at Mikeís house. Second week in a row where RAW has not been that good in my opinion. The NWO needs a new member. The womenís division needs a lot of work or it needs to get a lot more skimpier. Is skimpier even a word? Ric Flair as the special guest referee at Backlash should be interesting though. What was the point of having Crash vs. Jackie on RAW anyway? The match was over in a minute. Terrible. 

Well this Friday I will be giving my Backlash predictions. There might even be another Perfect Perception this week. Who knows?  

Peace Out,  

Dan Glamour

© 2002 The Outside Influence
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