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The Outside Influence-April 15, 2002

I will tell you what, flu like symptoms and/or food poisoning suck. I was in agony yesterday because I felt so sick. Let's just say that on Sunday, I spent a lot of time in the bathroom. Anyway, I won't make mention of this again so keep reading. So here's the Outside Influence.  

If you've noticed there's a new column on the Outside Influence homepage. Didn't know about it? Well neither did I, until my boss told me that he posted a column of his own. Its actually pretty funny and I hope he decides to do a weekly column. WHAT? I've got something brown on my nose?  

How about you people that read my column send me some feedback? Two people have sent me feedback about the Outside Influence. It’s not that hard. Put down some thoughts and send it to me at UWAGLAMOUR@yahoo.com 

Great, an opening interview with Flair McMahon…I mean Ric Flair. And Ric apologized to the audience. Yet, Ric kept on talking for 8 minutes. Then Steve Austin comes down to the ring and they talk for another 6 minutes.

Oh look, here comes the Undertaker and he’s not riding his damn motorcycle. So then there is another 3 minutes of boring banter. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, here comes the NWO. So now Scott Hall decided to talk for 5 minutes. Then after a huge brawl, Bradshaw and Austin have a couple of beers. The only thing that was worth while during that 22 minute opening segment was the fact that Ric Flair will be special guest referee.  

Man, I wish I had $5000.  :(  

During that Greyhound commercial, was the greyhound dog at a Korean restaurant or a Japanese restaurant. How ironic because don’t they cook dogs at Korean restaurants? Now I could be wrong so please don’t get offended if you are Korean and they don’t make dog at Korean restaurants. 

Raven is on Sunday Night Heat as a commentator!!! The WWF might as well change his gimmick over to Johnny Polo. Why is it that only former ECW stars can do commentary on Heat? 

So after Raven beats Bubba Ray Dudley, then Tommy Dreamer beats Raven, then Steven Richards beats Tommy Dreamer, and then Bubba Ray Jarrett hits Richards with a guitar to win back the Hardcore Title.  

What the hell is Burger King trying to pull? There is no way in hell that I am going to cluck like a chicken and get $.50 off a Chicken Whopper. I’m not fooling anybody am I? Of course I would. 

Hmm…after seeing that Shawn Stasiak interview. Its time to go check the laundry. 

A poem for Shawn Stasiak 

They should change your name back to Meat

Because you should be wrestling on Heat.

With the Big Show, you had no luck.

It’s probably because you suck. 

Thank you. I think I have found my new calling in life. 

Hey Lita, you can play with my stick shift anytime. What a great Stacker 2 racing commercial! I guess it’s not that great of a commercial because it’s a Stacker 2 commercial. It’s a lot better than seeing the Big Show or some fat guy sticking out of a car. 

Finally they are giving Eddie Guerrero some mic time. Great interview. Terri can’t interview anyone worth shit but she’s still hot for a forty year old woman. 

I’m sorry was that Goldust talking to Booker T or the Ultimate Warrior? Goldust made no sense. It was a lot better when he actually was quoting movies. I’m getting too old for this shit too Booker T.  

Speaking of guys who should be wrestling on Heat, it is going to be Crash vs. Jackie. What a great match this will be (sarcasm). Oops I blinked, the match is over.

Actually the most humiliating night of Regal’s life was when he had to kiss Vince McMahon’s ass. And as I was typing that the Coach told Regal the same thing. The Coach is not a bum. Okay Tazz. 

Is it always Hit Week on TNN? I swear they are always showing a Godfather movie or a Star Trek movie. 

Spike Dudley weighs 150 pounds!?! I weigh more than that guy. And speaking of smaller guys, I am so glad that Eddie Guerrero is back. I love his entrance music.  

That Spike can sure take a beating. Nice ending to that match by the way. I’ve never seen anyone execute a drop kick like Rob Van Dam. 

Great, another match between Trish and Molly. There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin by the way. I am awaiting with great anticipation who will face Jazz in the mother to end all Women’s title matches at Backlash.

Please, please note the sarcasm.  

www.lifeheart.com because I haven’t had anything interesting to type about. 

I think I am going to be sick again. I can’t believe Paul Heyman is hitting on Lita. And put down her panties for Christ’s sake. Matt Hardy is going to get his ass kicked at Backlash. 

Who books this crap!?! Booker T/Goldust vs. the Hardy Boys. “Oh my god”, Matt Hardy got his ass kicked by Brock Lesnar. 

Is Jim Ross’ Bells Palsy getting worse? I don’t think so either but Todd thinks it is. I saw him laughing at Tiny Tim during a Christmas Carol too. 

Yawn! What a great interview with Triple H. Notice that I am using a lot of sarcasm tonight. That is not a good sign. 

Good main event match. Austin and Bradshaw took on the NWO and the Undertaker. I was impressed with the action. X-Pac actually wrestled pretty good too. I was disappointed that Kane didn’t make an appearance. 

If tonight’s RAW keeps up like this then I will definitely be watching RAW by myself at my house and not at Mike’s house. Second week in a row where RAW has not been that good in my opinion. The NWO needs a new member. The women’s division needs a lot of work or it needs to get a lot more skimpier. Is skimpier even a word? Ric Flair as the special guest referee at Backlash should be interesting though. What was the point of having Crash vs. Jackie on RAW anyway? The match was over in a minute. Terrible. 

Well this Friday I will be giving my Backlash predictions. There might even be another Perfect Perception this week. Who knows?  

Peace Out,  

Dan Glamour