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From the Cheap Seats by Dan Glamour

Hello all my dear readers, Dan Glamour here. I am here sitting at home on a Saturday. You are probably thinking "what a loser". And at this point in my life I would have to agree with you. I should be out on a date or doing something else. Anyway…since I was home I decided to watch WWE Confidential on TNN. I thought that I might give you the readers a different perspective about the show.

Can you believe it? Mean Gene Okrland is the host of this show. That guy must have made a pact with the devil. Mean….WOOO BY GOD….Gene always seems to land on his feet. And for those of you wondering Ric Flair used to call Gene that in WCW.

Torrie Wilson is in Playboy!!! YES!!! WWE Confidential starts off with a look at the fact that Torrie Wilson will be posing in Playboy. The Big Show, Rey Mysterio Jr, and Jerry "The King" Lawler all talked about how pretty Torrie is. What else would they say? Would the WWE have anyone talking trash about Torrie? Or the better question is could the WWE have anyone talking trash about Torrie? She's hot pure and simple.

I was surprised to see clips of Sable and Chyna featured on the show. It makes sense though because they both posed for Playboy while they were in the WWF. Sable's stuff was okay. I enjoyed the Chyna clips because they featured Eddie Guerrero with his Latino Heat gimmick classic.

I am sure that it will be embarrassing for WWE fans that are old enough to have to go out and ask to buy Playboy when it comes out in March. BUT NOT ME!!! My dad has a subscription. : So why you are standing in line at a book store or a convienent store with a priest, a rabbi, and a minister, I will be a home looking at…I mean reading the articles.

Christian relives his Wrestlemania retro moment. Christian told us about how he and his friends all got together and rented the very first Wrestlemania at his house. Then he and his buddies all had a battle royal in his living room. Hmm…people do that today too, its called Backyard Wrestling. His favorite Wrestlemania match was when he and Edge won the title team titles for the first time at a Wrestlemania. Too bad my Wrestlemania moment of Christian was when he got beat by Diamond Dallas Page.

The WWE Rewind was Chris Jericho versus Ric Flair from WWE Unforgiven 2002. Why?

This is an interesting fantasy match up. Roddy Rowdy Piper versus Chris Jericho. Two very good promo cutters. Tom Prichard, Gerald Brisco, Jonathan Coachman, and Chris Nowinski all put there two cents in. Here's how I would see this going down. First of all both Jericho and Piper would trade insults with each other for about twenty minutes. Then they would start brawling for about five minutes. Then we might see a wrestling match from them for about ten minutes. Then Jericho would try to leave and the Rowdy One would chase after him for another five minutes. Then more wrestling in the ring for 10 more minutes which would end when Jericho cheats to win. Finally after the match is over Roddy would beat down on the "King of the World" for ten minutes. So there match would last for an hour. Hmm…okay maybe not that long.

Eddie and Chavo Guerrero meet this woman while walking down the street. She is pushing a stroller with a baby in it. They hit on her in their typical Latino fashion. In fact I think that they even mistake her for Pamela Anderson. Eddie and Chavo even talk about how cute the baby is. When they walk away, they both comment on how ugly the baby real was. I am not sure the point of this segment but it was funny.

Fans are treated to an up close and personal look of Jerry "The King" Lawler. To sum it up really quickly for you, Jerry is an excellent artist and we are treated to some of his work. We also found out that Jim Ross thinks that Lawler is a lazy ass on RAW because all he ever does during the breaks is doodle. Okay, so J.R. didn't put it like that but it sure sounded better didn't it.

Oh look…the Carrot Top and Stephanie McMahon 1-800-CALL ATT commercial. YOU SUCK CARROT TOP!!!

The viewers are taken back to last Thursday. Chris Benoit needs a partner to face Matt Hardy and Shannon Moore. Out comes Rhyno!!! Typical Rhyno kicks everyone's assses match. Then Rhyno talks about his 16 month absence. Why didn't Rhyno return at WWE No Way Out 2003? It would have been a nice surprise and it sure would have helped the pay-per-view out. It was okay but it was nothing great. Hmm…okay how about this it didn't suck but it wasn't spectacular.

WOW!!! I was watching the Stacker 2 commercial with the Big Show and I was wondering how they made the commercial. Lo and behold they went behind the scenes of the commercial. I could really care less how they did all of the effects and what went on.

Sigh!!! We got to see a lucky fan go lingerie shopping with Stacey Kiebler. The fan was pretty hot but like all pretty hot girls she was married. Another boring segment, I could really careless about women going shopping for lingerie. I don't even like to go into Victoria Secrets with girls. Hell they won't even model for me anyway.

This is all <beeped> up!!! Jacquie, Terri, Tazz, Jonathan Coachman, and Victoria would get nude for a magazine. Trish, Lita, Stacey, Michael Cole, and Big Jim would not. I will let you all think about what is wrong with this picture. The answer is painfully obvious. Trish please reconsider. 9

Well that was WWE Confidential. Coming up next is Slamball on TNN. Let me see how I can describe it for you…aww forget it. See you on Monday night.

Peace Out,
Dan Glamour

2002, 2003.The Outside Influence
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