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I'm watching from the cheap seats!

It was announced last week that Joanie Laurer aka former WWE superstar Chyna and Sean Waltman aka former WWE superstar X-Pac became engaged. Now this revelation sparked my colleague the Perfect One to write a "Perfect Perception" column. Well apparently this pissed a whole bunch of people off. I can't believe the response that the column has gotten. The Outside Influence has never gotten this much traffic…ever.

Then a funny thing happened, the Perfect One got the first Outside Influence hate e-mail. Now granted we hardly get any e-mail at all so this was a big thing. I decided that fans of Joanie Laurer and Syxx-Pac deserved their own forum here on the Outside Influence. So the following is some of their responses to my boss…the Perfect One. I am also going to have some comments myself. Mine will be in italics. Enjoy.

"Dear Idiot,
First of all I refuse to call you "The Perfect One" because quite frankly you have NO idea what perfection is...Your comments regarding the union of Sean Waltman & Joanie Laurer are simply repulsive. You have NO call whatsoever to challenge or put down any marriage at any time. You obviously must not be married, or even had a mate in your entire life, because you clearly don't know what real happiness is.
Second of all I hope for your sake you don't look to be a full toime writer at any time down the road in your life. If you do I feel you will not land any big time spot anywhere. The value of a journalist is that they get to the point and they do not take sides. You look at any WWE reporter, writer, webmaster none of them have obvious favorites. AND that's a big time value you lack. If you look at writers on big websites such as Dan who was nice enough to give myself and JoaniesGym the oppertunity to reply to your out of line comments. He writes the thruth and does not choose favorites in his writtings.
Again I strain for your sake that this is a wake up call. I not only write this to you as a Joanie Laurer fan, but as an individule that would speak out against and up for what she believes in. Simply put. your wrong. And if you don't change your writting ways. You will never ever get anywhere. I pray for your sake that you correct your mistakes. Soon. I expect an apoligy to myself as a fan and to Joanie Laurer and Sean Waltman. Your comments were out of line, However I don't see you being man enough to respect my wishes.
Best of luck to you in the future, Please consider the feelings of all your readers for the future. It will make you a better man & writer."

Sounds like a pretty informed wrestling fan right there. Here is an insight for you insiteful fans of Joanie Laurer and Sean Waltman. This is what we like to call a HEEL turn.

OH COME ON!!! Are you kidding me? Someone actually sat down and wrote this. The pending marriage between Joanie and Sean is hilarious. This has to be the oddest couple in wrestling since….well ever!!! Did you even read the column? Who is challenging the upcoming marriage? If they want to get married then they can get married. That doesn't mean that this news isn't shocking and makes people think weird thoughts. What is real happiness anyway? I think that the only person that knows what happiness is Triple H. I mean come on, he traded up…way up when he broke up with Chyna. He is now banging Stephanie McMahon. Not only does the Game now have a hot chick, he has something that Joanie and Sean does not. JOB SECURITY!!!
Who wants to do this for a living? Writing an internet wrestling column as a job? I am doing this purely for fun. What could you possibly be doing this for? I don't write the truth!!! I write what is on my sick mind. I only favor one person and that is MYSELF!!!
Your letter isn't a wake up call. Your letter made me fall out of my chair laughing. Next.

"HUh! Before you diss Joanie laurer I think you should take a look in the mirror and realize how unfair nature has been to you.Or maybe take a look inside your pants. Before you write rediculuous, worthless comments like this, you should take Joanie's feelings into consideration. She's a human being too, and can sure as hell mangle you in the ring if she wanted to. I dont know who you are, but you sure did disapoint me, being so cruel and heartless...not to mention a total jackass."

I will agree with you on something. Joanie could maggle both me and the Perfect One in the ring. What the hell does "mangle" mean anyway? How can you criticize the Perfect One's comments when you talk about his manhood? And then you called him not just a "jackass" but a "total jackass". Now notice that I don't know who you are either. And I am going to be nice and not reveal for identities.

"Dear 'The so called PerfectOne'

Obviously what you wrote was wrong, it shows you don't respect what people think and feel and is outragous to Joanie and Sean Fans.Even if you think their engagement is wrong she should respect the desicions thay have made. EVERYBODY HAS DIFFERENT TASTES and see people differently.
It also shows that you are intimidated by strong muscular women, its that or you are jealous. Yeah fair enough you stated your views on it, but you didn't include one single good point about it, to be a successful writer you need to state your views good or bad, AND other views or fans.
What has Joanie ever done to you. You call her a beast why is that? I'm sure there are more people in this world that see Joanie as an athlete and as an entertainer.
You are just sadistic and should state your views in a more ungraphic way, considering other peoples feelings.
I think you should sit down and think why do you think Joanie and Sean are so 'sickening' together. When you have thought of reliable evidence to back up your views then really you are fighting a big battle with Joanie and Sean fans that believe me You will not Win!"

Funny, I must have missed the column where he condemned the engagement of Joanie Laurer and Syxx-Pac. Nobody here at the Outside Influence really cares if they get married or not. Unless we are invited to the wedding. Then I am booking it down to Things Remembered to buy them a personalized blanket as a wedding gift. For the record I am also "intimidated by strong muscular women". Now before you all go jump on the "you can't get a woman Dan", bandwagon just remember this. I don't have a woman so it really wouldn't hurt me that much and it would not be that funny at all. Thank god the Perfect One is not a successful writer or I would be out of a job. I sat down and thought about why the Perfect One thought that Joanie and Sean are so "sickening together". I never got to finish though because I was in the bathroom taking care of some other business.

Lighten up people. We don't know Sean and Joanie's personal lives and quite frankly we don't care. We are looking at their personas on television. I mean would you care about our personal lives other than what you read about on the Outside Influence. Believe me, my personal life is a lot more boring than Joanie and Sean's personal lives. Okay, well maybe Joanie's. Why do you people take this so damn seriously? This what gives wrestling fans a bad name. People think that wrestling fans believe that professional wrestling is real because of you.

Well, I would like to say that Joanie Laurer and Sean Waltman are normal people. I think they deserve to be happy. I can't stand it when people talk bad about them. I don't see why they shouldn't get married. If they love each other, let them get married for goodness sake. It makes me sick when people like "The Perfect One" talk like that. I just wish Joanie and Sean the best and hope that they will be happy.

Man, I really can't say anything about this one. This one really isn't that out there. The only thing I can mention is that again, nobody thinks that Joanie and Sean should not be married. Next time when you send me a letter could you please be a little upshurd so that I can have something to write about.

I guess I have to end this one on a low note. L Well there you have it. These are just some of the comments from people who think that Joanie Laurer is Mother Theresa with muscles. If you would like to read more of their comments then be sure to check them out at the following webpages:


But be warned, if you are Canadian or an intelligent wrestling fan, then you will be dumber for looking at either of these sites. See you on Monday, of course we won't be seeing either Joanie Laurer or Sean Waltman on Monday.

Peace Out,
Dan Glamour

© 2002 The Outside Influence
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